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FREUDIAN SLIP

by Eric Wrisely

Me: Hello, I have a few questions for the head of the
household.

Boy: I'm only 14.

Me: Oh, I have to speak with someone over 18. Is one
of your parents home?

Boy: My mom is, but she's sleeping.

Me: Well, is there anyone there that's over 18 that I
can sleep with?

Boy: What?

Me: Never mind.

<click>

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RST PRESENTS: WHAT'S HOT AND WHAT'S 27 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT

Hot:

iPod Nano

27 Degrees Fahrenheit:

Sand and dust near Bonneville Crater on Mars

Snowflakes that are losing column formation and taking on needle shape.

Antarctica's monthly mean temperature for August as recorded at McMurdo Station.

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PERSONAL WEALTH ESTIMATED
USING MY PHONE NUMBER

by Mike Topp

$2,126,732,766

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HUGE BAG OF MAIL CLOGGING UP THEN BURSTING OPEN

From: kim bosch
Date: September 14, 2005 12:00:54 AM EDT
To:(submissions) reallysmalltalk
Subject: You may need a map to read this

Dan!

I developed hives. I drove up the icefields highway in Banff, Alberta, all the way up into Jasper and then I picked up one little stray piece of garbage and WHAM! Hives. The all over kind. I was doing so well! All the way from Toronto, through Winnipeg (the place where restaurants come to die), Regina, Saskatchewan, rolling emotional hills, one giant mall in Edmonton, Calgary! The wild west that apparently Brad Pitt just visited for his Jesse James situation and then Banff. Up the mountain and then down the other side. Which is when I started itching really bad. Perhaps it was the 2000 m. drop at the edge of the winding roads. Yes. Either way I was wishing I didn't bite my nails so I could just get that much deeper. Ciaran held my hands and I was fine for 30 seconds and then I would try to trick him and say, "No, you don't understand. I just need to scratch my head. Not the hives. Really!"

But they're gone now.

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