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Note to ALL NEW YORK GIRLS: Adam Wade had a girlfriend (sort of) and was on hiatus for a few months, but it's over now... and he's back. HE'S BACK FOR YOU!

HOW TO MAKE NEW YORK GIRLS REALIZE THEYWOULD RATHER BE WITH ADAM WADE

By Adam Wade

PART 12:

WHAT DO I LOOK FORWARD TO:

I work 6-7 days a week, and at the moment I'm writing this, I'm on my 52nd day of work in a row, (WADE works hard!) but I'm gonna have this coming Saturday off, and I'm looking forward to it.

With all this work, I have my regiment down. I get up, shower, change, etc, and I go get an iced coffee at the corner, and I walk 10 blocks every morning to the subway. I take it two stops and then I walk a few blocks to work.

About two months ago I was walking to the subway, I was in a rush, and I saw the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She had this tight, red jumpsuit on and she kinda looked like Sandra Bullock. She was quite buxom, and she looked great!  

She was walking this huge, black dog, and I just stood there and watched her go by.

I remember the spot where I was standing, and I had my iPod on. I was listening to Johnny Cash, I had 'Folsom Prison (Live)' cued up to where he says, 'Ladies and gentleman... I'm Johnny Cash."   and the prisoners all start cheering for Johnny.   That's right when I saw her.

It was... the best 'moment' I've had in years.

So call me pathetic, but... I now had a new plan, I began getting up 15 minutes earlier, I'd get an iced coffee at the place by my apartment, and then I would sort of hang around the area where I saw her, and I'd have my iPod cued to Johnny Cash's 'Folsom Prison (Live)'.  

I wouldn't talk to her or anything like that, but it was nice. After about a week, I realized that there was a bench near by, and I decided I'd get up about 5 minutes earlier, and I'd sit on the bench with the iPod, drinking my iced coffee, waiting for her.

I know some people have wet dreams, sexy dreams, but I don't get a big charge out of that stuff, this was enough for me. This was getting me through to the next day. I didn't have any days off, nothing to look forward to. I just looked forward to seeing this girl. And it made me feel good.  

So about 2 weeks ago, I was sitting there and everything was going according to plan. My Sandra Bullock look-a-like and her big black dog came down the street... AND on this particular morning the dog took a dump right there in front of me. A humungous ka ki, and it didn't even phase her. She just tugged the dog collar and walked away. LEAVING the turd.

Now I've step in a lot of dog doody in my day. This is a pet peeve of mine and she really hurt me. But the next day I was there, I had the Johnny Cash on, I was ready to go.   I had to give her the benefit of the doubt.

But... the dog took another king-size poo by the tree.

This... wasn't good for our 'relationship'.

I'd been telling the guys at the bar I hang out with about 'my girl' and they said, "You gotta talk to her, you idiot.   At least say 'hi'." But now with this whole doody thing was kinda throwing the fork in the bicycle spoke. So the next day I was like, I gotta talk to her.   I had to say something.

I sat on the bunch and... the dog took the biggest crap I had ever seen in my life! Right there in front of me, the Johnny Cash 'Folsom Prison (Live)' playing and everything, then I snapped.

I stood up, I had my iced coffee in my hand, my backpack, and I loudly said, "Hey, are you gonna pick up the ka ki?"

She turned around, and usually she's 'la la la', but not after my remark, and she replied back, "What?"

And I got very scared, then I quietly said pointing,   "Are you gonna pick it up?"

And in a Jersey accent she yelled at me, "FUCK YOU!"

She tugged the dog, turned and began to walk away. I was shocked, I quickly gathered myself and retorted in full bravado, "Hey beautiful, I hope you step in a big one!"

So now I no longer get up 15 minutes early. I'm taking an iced coffee hiatus, I don't take the same 10 block route to the subway station, no more Johnny Cash, but wherever I seem to walk... I see big clumps of dog doody.

(I have this Saturday off!)

Getting over a whirlwind romance has Adam flustered, combine that with all the problems he seems to be having in regard to pet droppings that he's been seeing, well, he'd love for you to drop a line and cheer him up.  

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